87 - How Do I Choose a Goal Weight?

5 min

The weight loss journey is paved with identifying goal weights, of getting into a cycle of losing and maintaining, so it’s no surprise if you’re at a point on your own journey where you’re wondering how to choose a goal weight that you can stick to. And friends, this could not be more relatable to where both of us are right now.

We would all love to have a step-by-step manual for how to know when it’s time to maintain our weight, or if we’re finally done losing weight, but the truth is there is no one right answer. Don’t be disheartened though, because this week, we’re offering the questions you should be asking yourself to make this decision, and what could be a better goal to look towards instead.

Tune in this week as we invite you to drop losing weight from your to-do list and expand your view past just your target weight. You’ll likely experience lots of resistance to doing this, which is totally normal, but we’re urging you to examine your reasons for choosing a goal weight, and question what else you could be focusing on in your life.

Are you new to Keto and struggling with staying on track with your plan, or maybe you are struggling to make the plan? Use our Keto Jump-Start course to help you figure out exactly how to make the Keto lifestyle work for you.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • The reasons for choosing a goal weight that aren’t helpful.
  • Where to look if you’re experiencing resistance to taking losing weight off your to-do list.
  • Why we don’t think getting to a certain number on the scale is a good goal.
  • The benefits of expanding your view past just a target weight.
  • How to assess when stopping losing weight is right for you.
  • The questions to ask yourself when thinking about choosing a goal weight.

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Maggie: Welcome to the Sustaining Keto podcast.

Ryan: Hello everyone. It’s great to be here. Please hit that plus button in the top of your app.

Maggie: Unless you’re listening in Google Play or Spotify because there’s lots of nuances for how you make sure you hear this podcast.

Ryan: There is. I need you to get just a little savvy and make sure you’re subscribed or you’re following however you may do so. And we just, we really appreciate it. And I know we’ve said it before and we’re going to say it again.

Maggie: We will say it again for sure.

Ryan: We’re going to say it every week, spoiler alert. Yeah. Anyway, I thought you came up with an interesting topic for this week’s episode.

Maggie: I did. I normally like to gather our topics from all the lots of what?

Ryan: Feedback.

Maggie: Yeah, feedback questions, just things that come up a lot, things that I’m coaching my clients on, things that I get DMs about. And one of them that I think is super interesting is how do I choose a goal weight?

Ryan: This is super relatable to where I’m at right now.

Maggie: Same. And I actually, the reason why I chose this although I get questions in all different types of forms is I was actually chatting with one of my clients who said that she had made a goal for herself. But part of that goal was that she wanted to feel really comfortable in her body in a swimsuit being summer activities and whatnot. And she just did something last weekend and felt amazing in her body. And she’s, so how do I know?

Ryan: Am I here?

Maggie: It’s about what do I want to say. It’s about eight pounds, a little less than eight pounds from what her goal weight was in her mind. So, I think it’s interesting because it’s like we have goal weights. But I think more so we have goal lifes. We have goal, how we want to experience our life in our body. How do I want to feel when I’m at this place?

Ryan: I want to be comfortable in a bathing suit is very, very common. I want to be comfortable going to a pool, a community pool.

Maggie: And chasing my child.

Ryan: And I want to be comfortable taking my shirt off. I don’t want my belly to be hanging over my shorts. That’s really all I want.

Maggie: Yeah. But we get it into our head, I guess that means 168. So, I think it’s interesting, sometimes I think you guys are going to get let down sometimes with the advice I give because I’m like, “There’s no right answer.” So, people are wanting clarity and an answer and how do I know? How do I know when it’s time to maintain? How do I know when I’m done losing weight? How do I know if I should keep working towards this goal?

And I want you guys to take those questions that you have for yourself or that you have for me and use them as a way to just find an answer, to answer it for yourself. I think what’s interesting is with this specific client, we talked a little bit about it. I told her what I’m going to tell you which is there isn’t a correct answer here. However, the most important part of this is that whatever place you’re making your decision from you need to love that. You need to love why you’re doing it.

A not great reason is because that’s what I was before I got married. Because that’s the weight that I was before I had kids. Because that’s the weight that I was when I was in college. Because I just thought that was what I wanted to be. Because I just made that goal and I’m not someone who doesn’t follow through on goals that I set. Those ones aren’t going to be super helpful anyways even for sustaining the action that you’re going to need to take in order to hit that goal.

So, I just said, “Whatever you decide just make sure that the place that you’re deciding it from is just kind of a revamped why, a revamped reason that is compelling enough to you to be like I just, I want to keep going, maybe you want a lower body fat percentage. Maybe you’d like to see what it would be like with five pounds less and then go from there. But just don’t be making the choice of trying to hit a goal weight based on some magical mythical past where nothing was wrong and all was right in the world.”

Because when I think back my weight in my 20s, especially my beginning 20s was great. Life was terrible. And so, we have this picture of my weight in college, but your life in college was kind of a disaster.

Ryan: Yeah, I think this podcast might talk me into just maintaining my current weight where I’m at.

Maggie: There’s nothing to talk anyone into.

Ryan: I don’t have great reasons to lose another 10 pounds. I’m very content with where I’m at. I wouldn’t say I’m satisfied.

Maggie: But where does the dissatisfaction come from?

Ryan: I don’t know.

Maggie: It comes from this obligatory, it’s the same thing I think for women. We get it into our heads that if I could just be in the 120s, everybody wants to be in the 120s.

Ryan: I want this belly fat, and some more belly fat to be gone. I’m telling you what I want. I’m not giving you the reasons why. I want my abs to be able to show through. Who gives a shit about my abs? Nobody does. I don’t know why I want this. I want my abs to show through without me flexing.

Maggie: But why do you want that?

Ryan: I don’t know. I just like to push myself.

Maggie: Yeah. And that could be a good reason but does it feel great? I want this goal because I like to push myself. How does it feel when you think that thought? It’s probably the reason you’re doing a great job of…

Ryan: I like to see what I’m capable of. And I have this idea in my head that you’re turning 35 this year. The clock is ticking for abs.

Maggie: You have abs.

Ryan: If I flex I have abs. People are going to think I’m insane.

Maggie: Listen, you do you, okay. You do you. I’m your wife. I get to see the abs. But beyond that it’s like what, you know, you just have to decide if it’s worth it to you. There’s not me deciding it’s worth it for you or you deciding it’s worth it for you. But it’s you deciding it’s worth it for you for reasons that feel good to you, for reasons that draw you toward what you want. But yeah, I’m in the exact same position too, especially I had a rough little part of June where immediately I went to we are maintaining.

And to be honest when I started this month that was my goal, a five pound range of maintenance that mostly keeps me in the 130s but gives me a little bit of room to move if I pop into the 140s. And I’ve done that. I’ve done it all month. I feel very good in my body. I spend none time, I mean some parts of my body have changed after partially breastfeeding two kids, having two babies, your belly stretching out. Things are definitely not the same as they were before kids, but that’s to be expected.

But aside from wow, that’s different, is I don’t spend any time berating my body or being this shit, unless I literally feel uncomfortable. It’s different if I’m bloated and stuff and I just feel I just don’t feel good. But that’s different than how I look. And so, it’s interesting to be in that place because I had a lot of clients that resonated with me when I talked about taking losing weight off your to do list.

But then the question becomes if I am not losing weight, especially for those of us who have felt that’s a huge part of our identity. We’re constantly on this quest to get healthy and to lose that weight. If that’s gone then what’s left? What’s the focus? What do I assess? What do I troubleshoot? And the answer to that is anything else in your life, just whatever’s the next thing you want to work on, you should be proud of yourself for achieving the goal that you’ve set. And now maybe you have some business goals. Now maybe you want to spice up your relationship.

Now maybe you want to focus on parts of your parenthood that you want to improve. There is always – trust me guys, you don’t ever be afraid you’re going to run out of stuff to work on, you never will. But some of us I think who have related a lot to our weight and a lot to our weight struggle, there is almost this internal fight. You’ve heard of people who are resistant to even lose their weight because they might get attention. People might have something to say about it. Not that it’s bad stuff. But it’s the attention where they’re like no, I’m almost resistant to that.

I almost don’t want to be seen here. I want to kind of chill in the background. I don’t want to do stuff that puts the spotlight on me. I feel like losing weight kind of falls into that same category where it’s like if I don’t have that as part of my identity as the girl who struggled with her weight or the girl who was always working on losing that last 10 pounds. Once that’s gone then what do we do? And so, I think that’s another good place to look if you have some resistance to well, then what, and answer that question. What comes up next?

What do you have planned after your weight isn’t the focus? Because for most of us food and weight has taken up excessive, excessive amounts of space in our brains.

Ryan: Yeah. I feel like I’m pretty good. I mean I think I’m maybe a unique case but I’m pretty good at not letting it take up a lot of brain space for myself because I am juggling other things that I just kind of mentally prioritize. But I think if you’re trying to decide what your goal weight is, I don’t think it’s good to be coming from a place of what other people will think about you or view you as if you reach 130 pounds.

Maggie: Because then even once you do, you won’t even get it then even if you do reach it.

Ryan: Yeah. I don’t think a number on the scale is a good goal.

Maggie: Yeah. I think it’s a good target for a while though. We’re aiming for here but once you get there then it’s like do I want my body to look different. Do I have control over the places where I want my body to look different?

Ryan: Yeah. Well, my goal was at the beginning of the year I was like, “Let’s get to 175.” I got there. I was like, “Well now let’s take it from here. Where do I want to go?”

Maggie: Yeah. And what’s the answer?

Ryan: The answer is I want to keep going. So, I’m going to keep going for now. I don’t know where the bottom is. I don’t know where I stop. But I’m just going to keep trucking along until I’m satisfied I guess. I know it’s probably not the greatest reason. To satisfy what?

Maggie: Well, you’ll find out if it’s a good reason because it’ll either work or it won’t work.

Ryan: Yeah. I just really love where I’ve gotten. I feel a lot more confident in my skin when I am leaner. I feel a lot more confident putting on slimmer fitting shirts. I feel good about myself. Those are things that I don’t think should go unnoticed as far as my reasons for losing weight.

Maggie: Yeah. Well, feeling good in your body is just different than 129 or 132, 161, it’s just different.

Ryan: A big one for me is not being disgusted when I look at myself in pictures. I can think about that all day every day and be that’s enough for me.

Maggie: Yeah. We have talked about this before, about that kind of motivation.

Ryan: Yeah, I know.

Maggie: I just think it comes down to what you actually want. And I just think your focus needs to be more on what you want your life to look like than what number you want the scale to flash back at your face. It’s just not concrete enough to work towards a number flashing in your face. It’s a good goal especially when you have 60 pounds you want to lose. But as you get closer you’ll realize you may be wrong. And I want you to be open to being wrong about what you think is the right number for you to be landing on at the end of all this.

That you may have a number that is kind of pushed in your face via society or what you think women should weigh, or whatever, wherever it’s coming from. It’s unrealistic for where – I’m not saying it’s not possible. But the expectations that we have of the weight that we’re aiming for.

And I think it is common for women, especially my clients to get to a place where they’re like, “No, this is what I wanted. I wanted to feel good in my clothes. I wanted to be able to chase my kid around and not get tired. I wanted to be able to look at pictures and say, “Wow, I don’t hate that picture, I like that picture.” I don’t have pictures and now I have pictures.” Those kind of things are huge. It’s that confidence but your confidence, not feeling of confidence doesn’t come from a place of now the scale finally says that.

I’ll say this again and again. I feel like a lot of the stuff that I teach on. Most people just don’t believe me. And I’m like, “You’ll figure it out for yourself once you get there and you get on the scale and you’re like, “Well, I did it.”” And it’s that’s what’s been taking up all of our space. That was the big payoff. I did it. That’s what my hope is that you’ll learn to love yourself, and appreciate yourself, and celebrate yourself as you are working through this journey because the journey is it.

The journey is where you’re becoming who you want to be. It’s not about getting to that place. It’s about all the steps that you’re taking to get there, that’s where the change is.

Ryan: Side note, if all your progress is the scale, you’re only measuring your body weight. You don’t want to lose body weight. You want to lose body fat, right?

Maggie: Well, yeah, and that comes down to the same thing as you being thin and being the weight that you want but you feel terrible in your body because you’re eating a bunch of shit. Your weight does not equate to your health. You could lose all the weight you wanted off cheeseburgers and it doesn’t matter because you’re in a calorie deficit and you lost your weight. But you’re not going to feel good on a diet that’s entirely processed food, a diet that’s entirely just processed crap. So, it’s kind of the same thing where it’s like your weight can be what you want but you can still hate yourself.

Your weight can be what you want but you could still have no energy. I want you guys to expand your view especially with so many years of focused on a weight goal that you don’t have a life goal. You don’t have a vitality goal. You don’t have an energy goal for yourself of how you want to feel, not what the scale is going to say back but how you feel every day. Do you have the energy to keep up with your life? Do you have the energy to create a life or are you just skinny?

That’s what I kind of love about low carb/keto lifestyles is that I feel like it does so much good in the sense that it helps people to realize the damaging effects of, for their body and how they feel when they eat certain foods in excess. It really helps to pull that back, to put more of a focus on how you feel, not just how you look or just what you weigh. That’s such a small part of the equation.

Ryan: Yeah. I’m realizing as we’re talking about this that I’m just not, I don’t have a lot of good advice for this topic to be honest because I’m probably not in the greatest place. But I do think that it would tie a lot back to the reasons why you’re losing weight in the first place. Why do I want to be 150 pounds? You know what I mean?

Maggie: Well, and sometimes the other thing is that sometimes you don’t need a big juicy reason. because I want to, because I just want to see. And that could be your reason. It doesn’t have to be because it’s going to help me to live. You’re already healthy. You’re healthy. You’re fit. You do have abs. You have all of that stuff but maybe you just want to push it a little further. And you don’t need to explain to anybody why that is.

Ryan: I kind of feel that. I feel that.

Maggie: You don’t need to justify. Yeah, you can want whatever you want just because you want it. I’m just saying if all you want is a number on the scale and there’s not any more beef to that of what kind of life is this going to help you create. When you’re feeling good, you’re feeling good in your body. Because we take different actions when we’re feeling confident in our body anyways. What we ask for, what we do, how we present ourselves, how we show up is different when we feel confident.

You don’t need to lose a bunch of weight to get to that place but it can be part of the process of you developing that confidence, and confidence that you can trust yourself to do what you said you were going to do. I think there is a lot of growth to be done in the weight loss process as you create the body that you want and release the shit that’s just literally weighing you down. The emotional shit, the physical shit, all of it so that you can feel good. And your goals will change, there just, there isn’t a right answer to when do I know when it’s time to stop losing weight. When you choose.

When you choose, and just because society tells you, you should be in the 115s doesn’t mean that the 150s are not perfect for you or the 175. There’s no right answer. It’s, are you living the life that you want in this body? If the answer is yes then go for it, whatever works. You get to choose when you want to stop. You get to choose if you want to keep going. You don’t have to stick to the same thing you wanted two years ago now. You don’t need to go at the same speed you’ve always gone at. You can take breaks. No one’s boxing you in here.

Ryan: I think some good questions to ask are, are you happy at your current weight? If you are, because you could be happy at your current weight and still want to lose more. Would the process of losing more weight make you unhappy?

Maggie: Would the process of losing more weight make you unhappy?

Ryan: Yeah.

Maggie: Well, think that’s all up for grabs too because a lot of people, I think it just comes down to even more so what do you want your life to look like? Can you live that life in your current body? Is there anything more that you want here? And sometimes you guys the answer can be yes and sometimes the answer can be no. Sometimes the answer can be we’re maintaining for the next six months. I don’t give a crap. Things are fine here, which honestly that’s kind of where your girl is at right now.

Ryan: There’s nothing wrong with that though.

Maggie: Just there’s no problem, there’s nothing to solve here.

Ryan: I honestly think that could be healthy.

Maggie: What?

Ryan: To give your brain a break because if you take the foot off the gas, of the weight loss gas and just if you need to maintain your weight for three months, I feel like that could be really healthy.

Maggie: Well, and how powerful is it to intentionally choose we’re going to maintain? The problem is when people choose to maintain all of a sudden the drama comes up of oh no, I’m going to gain my weight back. And so, you don’t ever really get to take a brain break. You may get to take a break of doing the work for the losing weight mind work. But then you get to learn how to do the work of the maintaining mind work.

Ryan: It’s a whole new skill set.

Maggie: It’s just new thoughts really. It’s new thoughts where your brain is like, “How are we going to keep this up? What if you gain your weight back? You’re backsliding.” And then it’s like I haven’t had to deal with these thoughts so now I need to learn how to manage that. There’s always going to be some type of management going on. But I believe you can intentionally be like we’re maintaining. For me maintaining is pretty cut and dry because like I said. At the beginning of this month, I thought listen, if you keep losing weight miraculously, it just keeps going down, that’s fine.

But all the goal is for this month is we want to maintain within this five pound range. And then I weigh myself every day and if it goes up then it needs to get pulled. For me it’s so simple. I don’t have a ton of mind drama around it. I know I haven’t ever gone above this five pound range that I gave myself. And if it goes up then I know to adjust. And I just stay there. So there doesn’t have to be a ton of drama there. But I just want you to also know you can just choose, I’m just going to maintain and that’s okay.

If in October I decide I want to lose five more pounds I can do that but there’s no rush. There is no problem to be solved. And losing weight doesn’t solve any of my emotional problems or doesn’t solve for anything else. It’s just something that I can keep working on if I want. It’s not an emergency. It’s not a rush. It’s not a race, it’s just is this good or not? And most of us are so used to being in a space where we literally feel like we need to lose 50 pounds. But once you get toward the end of that you just get to decide.

Ryan: Yeah. I think I’m going to intentionally plan to maintain either October or November through the end of the year. And I really like that idea. You know what I mean?

Maggie: Well yeah, and last year you checked out from July till when?

Ryan: End of the year.

Maggie: Just end of the year, you started again on the first of the year?

Ryan: Yeah.

Maggie: Yeah, I remember that. And so that’s huge too. That’s a huge thing that now you get to do another end of the year and be like, well, we’re going to decide on purpose this time that I don’t need to blackout to enjoy the holidays. I can just decide we’re just going to maintain. I’m not going to make weight loss the focus during the holiday season which you guys really do get to make your own rules. You don’t need to wait for a rulebook from somebody. You can decide if in July would you like to lose weight or not?

Do you want to lose weight or do you want to maintain? Cool. There isn’t a wrong answer. You’re not more worthy or deserving because you’re on a weight loss journey and you’re still trying to push it as far as you can just to prove what you’re capable of. You can do that but you don’t have to. It’s not going to make you more of anything. It’s just going to make your pants a little smaller. It’s going to make the flashy, flashy number a couple numbers down. That’s ultimately what we’re talking about here. Sometimes there’s a range, I get to my lowest that I’ve gotten to.

I feel no different than three, four, probably three or four pounds up feels exactly the same. That entire range, nothing feels different to me. Maybe my measurements would show you something different. I don’t feel different. I don’t feel any happier. I don’t feel any more comfortable the more weight I lose. I don’t care, it’s fine, we’re good. And that doesn’t mean that we’re good for forever. That doesn’t mean that I won’t ever change my mind. But I’m really at peace with deciding that for now for me this is great.

And you can decide that at any moment. For now, this is great, we’re just going to chill here. And then stay connected to yourself, don’t check out, don’t step off the scale for the next two years. Just stay connected so that you can make sure you’re managing the fact that the deal was to chill here. And as long as I’m doing that I know that I’ll feel good and be confident. And that’s enough.

Ryan: That’s one key to maintaining weight is to not ignore that scales, give yourself an excuse to not get on the scale. I think part of maintaining is still checking in.

Maggie: Yeah, I do too because then it just shows you. Sometimes you’ll be like, I know, I’ve been overeating for the last couple of days and your weight will be up a couple of pounds and you’ll be like there’s no confusion to what that’s about. I know because of what I’ve been doing. So that check-in allows you to literally rein it in. We were talking about that just in the last week or so weren’t we, about how you can reel it in so fast? We were talking about how a lot of the time these things, and for people we talk to, they’ll just spiral out of control for weeks.

That just doesn’t happen to us anymore. We can have a night where we totally overeat on pizza and cake and two days later we’re exactly where we were before.

Ryan: It’s such a ninja skill though dude.

Maggie: Because most people spin out and then they compound their choices.

Ryan: You wouldn’t believe how much birthday cake I ate the other day for our daughter’s birthday. I got this custom cake ordered and it’s like…

Maggie: He has been looking forward to this cake since my son’s birthday last November.

Ryan: And just before it would have just caused such a downward spiral. But don’t you think that’s just an extremely experienced skill?

Maggie: It is.

Ryan: I’m not trying to say I’m the best. We’ve just been at this shit for a long time.

Maggie: Yeah. Well, and what people don’t understand is they make those choices and then they continue to justify it. And they literally do compound. And then they’ll be like, “Well, it took me two weeks.” But by then they’re so discouraged and they’re so down on themselves that they just keep day after day making choices that are further compounding that one day. And we’re really good at being one day, maybe max, two days, maybe a vacation, maybe something gets a little slippery.

We pull it right back and it’s as if it never happened, fast, one or two days before we are exactly where we were at or below. And it’s just because it’s this skill that we have pretty much mastered at this point. I would say I have mastered that skill of just reeling it right back in, instantly. The party’s over. The birthday’s over.

Ryan: Yeah, because the only way to do it is to practice.

Maggie: Yeah. And that’s why you’re always making those posts like hey, just so you know, Christmas is over, Easter is over, it’s over. Because most people don’t let it be just what it is. They don’t let it just be one day of overeating or one holiday. They let it, and then a little funky for the next day, and then funky the next day for about half the day. And then after, everything else was great and then after dinner went balls to the wall. And then the next week. And then it’s like, no, that is when you start doing damage that’s going to take a bit.

There’s not a problem still, it’s just going to take you longer to get it off. Wouldn’t you like to master the skill of making a choice and then saying, “Okay, now today we choose differently because that was yesterday. That was the birthday. That was the cake, the cake is gone. I don’t need to now order Chinese food. I need to just get right back on to what makes me feel good.”

Ryan: And once you’re able to do that you’re able to look at the cake completely differently. It’s my daughter’s birthday, I probably shouldn’t eat that and now I’m going to.

Maggie: Yeah, weighing it out, yeah.

Ryan: There’s no weighing out. It’s I’m going to eat some cake.

Maggie: You love that cake. I didn’t have an inch of that cake.

Ryan: I love that cake, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for this cake and I’m going to eat it.

Maggie: Yeah. And you get to eat it again in November for Holden’s birthday, so it’s super exciting.

Ryan: Yeah. And it’s a completely different approach.

Maggie: And that’s one of the other ways that you retrain your brain to not be afraid of cake and not be afraid of food like that. The more that you can practice choosing immediately the next day, we just get back on our plan, no drama. I can have cake again. This isn’t a big deal.

I don’t need to – because I asked Ryan, I’m like, “What do you want me to do dude? This is your favorite cake and we need to decide right now if we’re throwing it away.” And he’s like, “We need to throw it away.” Do you think it was easy to throw away that cake? First of all, it was an expensive cake and it was the best part of the cake.

Ryan: This cake was 200 bucks.

Maggie: This cake, it was the whole middle of the cake. I would argue is probably the best part of the cake. And he’s like, “I threw it away.”

Ryan: You don’t know how much cake I had, first of all. I ate cake after you went to bed. I had lots of cake. And let me tell you, this was 48 hours ago and I probably weighed in at my 10 day low today.

Maggie: Yeah. We don’t need to be afraid of cake but we do need to learn how to say, “When is enough cake?” And you probably didn’t say, “When is enough cake.” But you did when you threw it away. You did it when you said, “We won’t be eating cake tomorrow because this cake is not in my house anymore.” The decision was made at that moment. You could have said, “Well, I don’t want to throw out a perfectly good cake. We’ll, just stick it in the fridge and then maybe if the kids want cake.”

And you know you’re setting yourself up to eat cake for the days after the party until the cake has gone. And it’s like no, when you get decisive and you’re like we had enough cake until the next time we have cake in November. You had enough, my total amount of cake allotment that I want in my life, that was enough cake till the next time we have cake. And it’s those kind of decisions that – I mean we kind of went off on a tangent. But I think it’s important still.

Ryan: A cake tangent.

Maggie: How do we answer the question?

Ryan: There is no answer.

Maggie: There is no answer. There is no right weight for you. There is no calculation that’s going to tell you when you should stop. As far as signs as when it’s time to stop is I just feel like you’ll know. You’ll know when it’s time. And if you don’t know but you just feel you keep kind of trying and it’s just, nothing’s happening, you’re just doing a really good job at maintaining. And you’re just like there’s not enough for me to, I’m just good where I’m at.

But I think a lot of us don’t feel comfortable making that decision and being like, “I don’t need to lose anymore weight because it feels scary. It feels like no, this is always something you’re supposed to be working on. This is always supposed to be a focus.” And it’s no, I don’t think it is. I think it can be. I think for a lot of people it is. But I don’t think that it’s supposed to be.  And then questioning who am I without this goal? If I’m not losing weight, if it’s off my to do list then what will I work on?

And I would use that question as a way to get excited and to be like dang, so after I do lose these last two pounds, or dang, I just decided to maintain now that weight isn’t a problem. And even maintenance, I’m still making my plan and stuff like that because I just feel that kind of framework is so easy and just keeps things in check. But after that then it’s like, yeah, what other area of your life are you maybe discontent with that we can focus on, that you can grow and that you can apply the exact same tools to grow there? And have a new focus that isn’t body focused or weight focused.

So hopefully that answers your question. You guys have more power than you think and you like to give your power away to other people to give you the answer, this is how you’ll know, one day. It’s like no, that’s not coming. We have to get better at making decisions and being like, I’m done losing weight because I decided I’m done. I’m done losing weight because I decided I have other stuff I want to focus on and I’m good here. And there is nothing else that needs to happen. I have the life that I want now. I’m confident. I show up in my life. I keep my word to myself.

I do what I say I’m going to do. We’re good. There is no more weight that needs to be lost. And then allow yourself to be okay with that decision being made. Okay?

Ryan: Okay.

Maggie: Alright, see you next week.

Ryan: See you later.

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