97 - Why You Need to Experiment on Purpose for Weight Loss

5 min

We live in a world filled with contradictory information at every turn. We can use what’s available to us for our development or our destruction, and this process requires a filter to figure out if one particular solution or answer works for you. In other words, it requires experimentation. 

It’s in our human nature to constantly be on the hunt for problems. We jump from one thing to the next, on a never-ending quest to finally find the thing that will give us our desired results. But constantly putting out fires in this way is destroying your happiness and keeping you from getting what you want. 

Tune in this week as we invite you to be willing to be experimental with your weight loss journey. We’re showing you the obstacles that are keeping you from tapping into curiosity, the detriments of constantly looking for the next best solution, how to experiment on purpose for weight loss and why doing so gets you closer to knowing what's best for you.

If you’re ready to take your weight loss to the next level, come check out my coaching program, Vibe Club. If you want to lose your weight for good and in a completely different and more sustainable way, click here. The price is going up soon, so if you join now, you’ll lock in the current pricing for as long as you stay a member!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why our brains are constantly on the lookout for problems.
  • The detriments of constantly being on the hunt to solve problems.
  • Why you might be running in circles trying to find the right solution on your weight loss journey.
  • How to create a controlled study when you're experimenting.
  • Where you might be going wrong with your experimenting.
  • A check-in process to use if you're feeling like nothing is working.

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Full Episode Transcript:

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Ryan: Hi Maggie.

Maggie: Hey, welcome to the podcast.

Ryan: Welcome to the podcast. How’s it going?

Maggie: Pretty good.

Ryan: This Dr Pepper Zero Sugar, I know when I first tried it, I said it tastes exactly like Diet Dr Pepper and I would like to retract that statement.

Maggie: Let me try one more time. Because I feel like the first time I tried it I was like, oh wait, no, this is more of a Coke Zero vibe, and then I tried it again and was like no, it tastes like Diet Dr Pepper, so here we go. Stay tuned.

Ryan: It tastes a lot like a regular Dr Pepper.

Maggie: Yeah. But have we ever considered that maybe they were just filling the new cans with old soda, you know?

Ryan: New cans with old soda?

Maggie: Maybe they were just putting Diet Dr Pepper in the one that we tried and now the formulation has actually been updated.

Ryan: Oh, like they had a bunch of leftover - the old formation.

Maggie: Just loaded it up.

Ryan: I guess that’s a possibility.

Maggie: We never - that’s what I mean about uninvestigated thoughts, you guys. Just kidding. Sure, it could have been different all the time but also, we could have gotten some leftover Diet Dr Pepper in our Dr Pepper Zero cans.

Ryan: That’s probably what happened.

Maggie: That’s probably what happened. So I do think it’s sweeter. Ryan, please don’t, please.

Ryan: What did you learn on TikTok this week? Anything? Anything good?

Maggie: TikTok makes me scared sometimes about the state of the world.

Ryan: Lots of…

Maggie: Stuff. You know, and I just feel like Ryan posted a really funny TikTok to his Instagram if you saw it or not, but I’m going to tell you what it was. Basically this guy is in line getting coffee and he’s like, there’s so much information out there but there’s so much information that you can believe pretty much whatever you want and find data to back it up and be right all the time.

So he’s like, for example, I bet you drinking coffee causes blindness. He’s like, I’m going to Google it right now, pulls up an article that says it can contribute to glaucoma. And he’s like, but also, I bet I could find something that confirms that coffee makes your eyesight better. And he’s like, there it is. And he pulled up another article that said how it could contribute to better.

And it’s just - we’re in an age and a stage of the world and life where there’s just so much information out there and it’s hard to know the right thing to do. We did a podcast on this a couple podcasts ago because I think it especially is true in the health space, the nutrition space that it’s like, you literally could have two people that were considered absolute professionals in their field saying the complete opposite stuff with scientific studies to back it up, that it’s like, I need a nap.

Ryan: Well, I mean, the same thing goes for eating and losing weight and dieting. You get online and you’re just completely overwhelmed with information. There’s too much information out there.

Maggie: There is. It has become a blessing and a curse. You can use it to your destruction or your development.

Ryan: You have to have your own filter.

Maggie: You have to have a process for just trying things for yourself and to find out if the answer for you is yes or no. Because the answer for you could be yes and the answer for me could be no on any question. And so you just have to have a process of I’m going to run this through my system and see if it’s a yes for me or a no for me, if this works or not. Did you learn anything amazing?

Ryan: I discovered this TikTok account who’s like an architect which is really fascinating to me. Because he posts behind the scenes of his architectural drawings and the custom houses he’s designing. That was definitely a rabbit hole for me. Very, very fascinating. I know you love…

Maggie: Our For You pages are not the same. This is another confirmation that - I just like to laugh or be terrified. I like to have that spectrum of just like, information I wish I never had and information and dancing and funny stuff that hits way too close to home. That’s my For You page. But no, I don’t remember anything that I specifically learned.

Ryan: Okay.

Maggie: Okay, let’s get it going. What do you want to talk about today?

Ryan: I believe you came with the subject today.

Maggie: I like to take notes and ideas that I have that I want to address because something that I think comes up a lot for people is really feeling like they are constantly on the hunt to solve problems.

Ryan: Problems like…

Maggie: Problems like should I do this, or should I not do this, they just kind of go from one thing to the next and it never ends because your brain is constantly on the lookout for problems to solve.

Ryan: My weight’s not going down, I’m hungry all the time.

Maggie: Should I eat this, should I not eat this, should I include this, should I not include this, should I add this in, should I increase this, what about working out, what about this. And it’s like, I just feel like when you’re constantly looking for problems, you never get to rest. You never get to just enjoy where you’re at.

And I fell into this camp too. I feel like I’m constantly - I had a coaching call this morning and I was telling them I feel like I’m constantly in that scientist mode where I’m collecting feedback.

Ryan: You are.

Maggie: I am, right? To an annoying degree. Because we’ve just been trained to nail down some mental health issues and I just feel like we’re getting to the end of it, to the end of the hole, or the tunnel, or whatever it’s called.

But it’s hard to not always feel like once you’ve solved this problem, it’s on to the next problem. Rather than seeing it in the light of am I ready to just up-level here, do I want to - I think what’s different is the curiosity aspect of it rather than going from problem to problem to problem that bringing in curiosity into the mix and saying could this improve my life if I made the change here, or am I just seeking out problems constantly?

Ryan: I feel like our brains are like wired to look for problems to solve. Is that just a natural thing?

Maggie: I think that’s true. I think it’s just another way to keep you safe because if you’re looking for the problems then you’re eliminating the threats. And if there’s no threats, then you can be safe. But I think our brain has a tendency because we’re not living in the olden days to just constantly be looking for danger where there isn’t any. My brain does that big time.

Worst-case scenario, just worrying, anxiety, what’s the worst thing that can happen, what problems will these bring in, what will this change do in terms of my safety, aka my comfort. So our brain is just looking for problems.

Ryan: So I mean, we have a lot of conversations where I’m trying to tell you this isn’t actually a problem.

Maggie: Like what?

Ryan: I mean, when you just bring up stuff that you’re worrying about, I’m like, why don’t we worry about it when it’s something to worry about? You know what I mean? Do you think that’s common in the aspect that we’re talking about? You know what I mean?

Maggie: Well, I think we’ve just been talking a lot lately about how correlation is not causation. And we have addressed this on the podcast before. We all have a tendency to connect things that aren’t connected, and I feel like I do that a lot.

And so when it comes to you pointing out stuff that’s not a problem yet, I think it’s just the brain’s natural tendency to be looking for problems to solve. And I think that’s fine unless it’s presenting in your life the inability to just relax and enjoy what is without looking for the next problem to solve.

I think we all believe there are all these secret, top secret things in our life that are destroying our happiness and keeping us from what we want. And it’s our job to just uncover all of them. And while I think it can be a healthy thing to be like, that’s why I just see it differently. A problem to be solved versus you’re ready to up-level here.

You know that this is just something you want to try to see if it will improve the quality of your life. But I think more often than not, we are really connecting two things that aren’t connected, especially in the low carb world, the keto world. It’s just like, this sweetener is doing this to me, or this - it’s worth finding out but for the most part I think we’re off with our connections of what - because I do that all the time.

Ryan: In nutrition and weight loss too, the problem is that to see any effects of changes you make is like such a slow process. So if you’re waiting a week and thinking there’s problems…

Maggie: And what you relate to it. You’re like, oh, it’s because I had the thing yesterday, and it’s like, or it could have been because last Sunday something happened. It’s not necessarily what you did in the last 24 hours.

Ryan: Yeah.

Maggie: It’s again, relating two things just because your brain goes it must have been this. It’s because I had a soda, soda stalls me out.

Ryan: I’m just trying to think in terms of where everyone’s probably at. Everyone listening is probably at some point in their weight loss journey trying to get that scale to go down. And if you are making changes on a weekly basis because you think there are problems on a weekly basis, I think that’s just inaccurate.

Maggie: Well, you’re going to be running in circles. And the reason why is because if you’re just always moving on it must be this, it must be this, it must be this, it must be this without deciding it could be this, let’s try and see if we work on just this and focus on this, does anything change.

And essentially, I mean, I wouldn’t do it for any less than like, at least a couple weeks if not 30 days as a standard if I think this could be creating this result for me, something that I’m not enjoying, or it’s stalling me out or whatever, let’s put it to the test.

Ryan: Science was my worst subject in high school so I’m going to talk out of my ass here but isn’t it called a controlled study where you change one thing and nothing else, so you know that that is actually the thing having an effect?

Maggie: You know I barely showed up to high school at all. I almost didn’t graduate because I almost failed PE.

Ryan: People listening are mad right now.

Maggie: I’m sorry.

Ryan: But that’s what it is. If you’re going to make a change and you want to know the effects that that thing is having, you can’t also change anything else.

Maggie: Yeah, because it’s like, you have to change one variable. And it’s like, because if you change four variables, then was it this, this, this, or this? I don't know.

Ryan: I kept telling you this in certain situations you were having. And I can’t remember what they were.

Maggie: It’s probably just all the situations lately.

Ryan: You won’t know unless you are experimenting correctly.

Maggie: Yes.

Ryan: If you want to know if a sweetener is having an effect on you, if you also introduce carbs and are working out…

Maggie: I’m going to carb cycle and I’m going to up my - I’m going to change four of these things, but I’m just going to see if this sweetener affects me. But then it’s like, you don’t know if that’s what actually made the difference.

And I’ll tell you, I’ll explain to you what he’s even talking about because it’s been really interesting for me being keto for so long and low carb for so long. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been going on with my mental health. And what I believe now, where I’m currently at is that there’s something happening maybe hormonally the week before my period that is connected.

But what’s probably - what I think I’ve been doing is eating sugar around that time and then saying it’s because of the sugar. But what we realized was that the only way to find that out for sure was when I was feeling really, really good after my period for example, I needed to eat sugar and see what happened. I needed to eat carbs and saw what happened because I wasn’t tracking it that closely.

I was just connecting, see, and it’s four, five more days until I start feeling better, if I eat sugar and I’m a mess and I feel depressed and all that, and it’s like, okay, is it that? Because in my mind it was like yes, we have the evidence. Years of evidence. But what I wasn’t picking up on was the certain times of the month that it was happening.

So yes, I’m getting my brain scanned this Friday. We’re going to go on a trip and stuff so I’m excited because of course there’s a lot of other stuff going on. But when it came to what I’ve been dealing with recently, I had no way to make that connection other than the fact that I started going back to conversations that I was having every month at the exact same time with my sister, with Ryan, with just wanting to quit everything and throw it all out and making that mean because I wasn’t keto.

It was because my carbs were too high. It was because I had a cinnamon roll. So we had to test it out and the only way to test it out is you’re feeling really good, you need to eat some sugar and see what it does to you, and the testing I’ve done over the past week is not confirming the bias that I had about what…

Ryan: The hypothesis.

Maggie: What causes what. And so who knows? Maybe that will throw people into a tailspin where they’re like, maybe I’m wrong about everything. But you know, I see now people’s brains moving in that direction where it’s like, oh no, what if keto…

Ryan: Listen dude, there’s nothing bad with experimenting and it gets you closer to figuring out what is best for you.

Maggie: But you have to also experiment on purpose. And so that was what I intended to do where it was like, okay, I had experimented with carbs, I ate rice, I was eating carbs every single day for six days and nothing was changing with my mental health. I felt fine, I felt focused, I didn’t feel overly hungry, I felt really good.

And then I was like okay, well, it’s not carbs, we got to try sugar. I had a cookie and a half on Saturday. It’s Tuesday now. There was never an effect from it. It was one of those days where I was feeling really good, there was no change that came from that. And so it’s not bad to question things, but it’s different mindset of I need to solve all these problems versus I’m ready to level up here, or I’m ready to check in and make sure that what I’m connecting is actually a real connection here and it’s not just something that I believe.

Ryan: Yeah, I mean the perspectives is important, right? Calling it a problem. You could look at it like a problem to be solved, or you could look at it as this is just something I think I want to change.

Maggie: I know this just because it comes up with my clients and it came up this morning. I was asking people - it’s the end of Labor Day weekend when we’re recording this, and I kind of asked people how it went over the week or the weekend, the three-day weekend.

And there were people saying they planned stuff, whatever they did, and then there were other people who were like, it was a mess, it was a disaster, it was - and you’ll know if you’re making it a problem unnecessarily by the way that you talk about it. And a lot of the time we’ll describe it in very broad terms. We’ll just be like, my hormones are a mess, or my mental health is a disaster…

Ryan: My favorite, my metabolism is broken.

Maggie: Yeah. And it just doesn’t put us in a really good - it’s sensationalized. It’s got descriptive language, it’s juicy, it sounds very like oh my gosh, there’s such a huge problem, versus I’m ready to adjust things here and I’m wondering how I could up-level this specific thing if I want to work on my mental health or I want to - just being willing to be more experimental with what you’re doing, versus just putting out fires constantly like Whack-a-Mole.

You’re just like - that’s exactly what it is. You just whack that mole down and you’re like, solved it, and then another thing just pops up and you’re like, God damn it. And it doesn’t ever end. And it doesn’t end because of your brain. Not because of what’s going on. Not because problems keep popping up but because your brain is in a problem mentality.

It’s looking for problems. And I think that the basis of that is it’s looking for problems to solve because if it believes it can Whack-a-Mole all the moles, then I can feel better, I don’t ever have to feel crappy. And I think that’s a problem too, especially when it comes to keto and low carb is that you think if you stay keto or low carb you won’t have problems anymore.

You're going to be in a great mood all the time, you’re never going to feel bad, and sometimes I look back at that time when I was really strict and I think that like, this doesn’t sound like me at all, but I was doing it in a way to control the outside world. It was my means of - you know how people will do certain things, it makes me feel like I’m in control and if I can control this, then maybe I can control everyone else and everyone around me and I’ll just be better suited to show up, but I think it was coming from more of a controlling place because I didn’t want to lose grip of the freedom I had found.

So it felt like we had to keep this specific aspect really tight because this was actually the answer for my happiness. So I just think the most exciting work that I do with my clients is helping them to prove old, outdated stories to be untrue. Not that they weren’t true at one time. It’s true that they could have never been true at any time, but I also think as you’ve been at this for a while, it’s fun to prove things - you have proved some stuff true recently. Like you can eat potatoes and rice and still lose weight.

Ryan: Yeah. And that’s fun.

Maggie: But proving things true - we just have these diet brain beliefs that are just like, I can’t do this and lose weight, I can’t plan this and lose weight, I could never eat this consistently and lose weight.

Ryan: The potatoes and rice was really - or eating carbs and losing weight was a fun one to debunk for me.

Maggie: It is fun.

Ryan: It’s fun. Because I love potatoes, I love rice.

Maggie: Well, if I can, I’d like to. If I can eat rice, I’d like to eat rice. I’m not a big potato person.

Ryan: I had no good reason to not eat that stuff anymore.

Maggie: But you weren’t eating it because you thought you can’t have the two things. I can’t have weight loss and have potatoes. It’s just impossible.

Ryan: Yeah, well I was eating low carb for the longest time along with you because when I first did it, I felt those amazing benefits that everyone feels when they first start keto and low carb. The appetite suppression and the energy and the mental clarity and focus, it was all just slapping dude. And over time, it just went away.

I mentioned that briefly on my stories and I actually polled people and asked if thy experienced the same thing. The response was pretty staggering. I was surprised that 75% of the people who responded to the poll felt the same thing, like the keto benefits kind of dwindled away over time. So I didn’t really have a reason not to eat carbs. If I can eat carbs and lose weight, let’s give it a go.

Maggie: Yeah. And then I think in the past, we also had lots of failed attempts at trying to incorporate them, and the reason for that is because when you were like, I can eat potatoes, you would chop up three potatoes with your food.

Ryan: Chop up three potatoes?

Maggie: You would eat like three potatoes at a time.

Ryan: I ate three potatoes last night.

Maggie: Did you really?

Ryan: Yes.

Maggie: Oh. What happened because you did that and you were like, I can’t do it?

Ryan: Well, I would eat rice and I would fill my whole plate with rice. I mean, there’s just something with reintroducing carbs that your brain kind of…

Maggie: You have to practice. That’s why. It wasn’t the potatoes that was the problem. It was what followed up after eating that. Probably what happened in the rest of the night, and then all of a sudden you were like, see - because then you ended up going back to keto after. You were eating those potatoes with the vinegar for a while, and then you were like, I just can’t do that.

Ryan: I was keto at the beginning of this year for a month or two or three at least. So I’ve gone back and forth here and there, but when I first introduced carbs back in, there was this mental…

Maggie: You have to do some gymnastics there.

Ryan: Some gymnastics. It’s like starting over to be honest.

Maggie: Well, I think the problem for most people when they try because that’s the talk that we do in Vibe Club is like, people trying to learn how to moderate it and being like, it totally exploded, see? And it’s like, unfortunately you have to let it - you have to give yourself more time. Because it’s going to look like that.

And I think a lot of people, when it does look like that, they’re like, dude, I had rice for dinner and then I ate all of the snacks in the house, every snack I could find. Therefore, I can’t have rice because rice is a gateway to all the other food. And it’s like, yeah, and most people will just go back and be like, see, I can’t, rather than practice.

Ryan: I know everybody in Vibe Club probably listens to the podcast, so if you’re listening and you want to reintroduce carbs, my best advice for you is to get good at your hunger cues before doing that. So you can bring that skill into eating carbs. Would you agree?

Maggie: Yeah. That’s what I am trying to explain. No matter what - this stuff is just fresh in my head because I just got off a coaching call. But it’s like, I don’t care how you decorate your eating. I don’t care if you decorate it with keto, low carb, paleo, Whole30, whatever. Decorate your house however you want. I don’t care. Eat however you want. Just make sure you’re choosing it on purpose.

But at the end of the day, the tools I teach you with hunger and fullness and planning and protocol, that’s going to override everything. The other stuff like working on your thought work and stuff, I like that they start using the tools first before digging into that. But at the end of the day, no matter how you decorate, if you’re overeating, if your body is like, I’m full, and you’re like, I’m going to get one other piece of steak, if your body is full and you’re like, I’m just going to have two more ChocZeros because it’s so good, that’s where your problem is.

Your problem isn’t with carbs. Your problem isn’t with fat. Your problem is your overeating. That’s it. So yeah, you want to practice, and it’s different. Eating keto versus having carbs is different because with keto, I know I don’t teach calorie counting but your keto calories are denser.

So you having two eggs and sausage and cream cheese, that might be a lot for a first meal versus what you can have when you’re eating more carbs because your fat lowers and you’re not eating so fat-focused that you may be able to eat a little bit more. But again, it’s the same kind of thing as when you figured out how to eat keto. You have to learn, what does the protocol look like, the one that includes carbs.

You can’t just add carbs into your keto day where you're just like, ate eggs. You have to play around with what feels good to the point where you’re feeling good, you’re eating what you like, and the scale is going down. The same way as when you got started with keto, if you try to incorporate something that’s new or different, you have to learn what that protocol looks like.

But ideally, it’s important to be examining what you believe. What you believe is possible, what you believe is necessary. So many people are just like, I’m eating one meal a day, I don’t know what else - you can still overeat at that one meal a day. Why are you doing that? Why are you eating one meal a day? Do you love the reason why you’re doing that? Or have you just cut off all happiness, everything that makes things have balance to just this one time of eating where you’re like, I have to be as strict as possible? You just want to make sure what you’re doing, you’re actually choosing and you like your reasons and that it’s sustainable. And some things you think you have to do, you probably don’t.

You do have to stop eating when you’re not hungry. You do have to stop continuing to eat when you’ve had enough food. You do need to stop the snacking in between your meals. Those are the things you need to do. I can say with - notice nothing I said was anything about carbs. Nothing was about using fat was a lever and carbs - nothing. You heard nothing specific other than the fact you’ve got to stop eating when you’re not hungry and you’ve got to stop eating when your body is like, we’re good.

And you know what, that sounds so simple. But over the last probably I don’t know how many weeks, I have not wanted to do that work. I’ve just been like, no, I don’t care. And you know what happens in that case? Your brain goes, well, that’s a small enough portion, well, I can have that. Your brain will go back to maybe a time when you did count calories and you start justifying it. And you’re literally overriding your body.

It’s like, I just don’t want to do that work. So many people don't want to do that work. It feels too simple, it feels too easy. But also, I’ve totally been in that place where I’m like, I’m just not in the mood to do that. This is a fine portion, completely disconnecting from body while I eat because my brain tells me that’s good enough, I can have that, it’s just a couple eggs, it’s just working from a different space that’s not you. It’s not connecting with your body’s built-in feedback that will tell you that's enough.

So don’t let the simplicity of it mean that it’s just so easy and mindless because it’s not mindless. It’s actually very, very mindful. I’m back to that place where I’m like, planning food that I really like, not imposing rules on myself that aren’t necessary. And do you know what that requires? It requires me not blacking out on date night. Not alcohol-wise, but being like, that’s good.

I don’t need to - I had an appetizer, which means part of my dinner eating happened during that appetizer. Appetizers are not like awash, you guys. If you’re eating the appetizer, that is your dinner eating. And then I get my wings and there was six of them and I ate three of them, and they’re like, big old wings. And I left three and then Ryan ended up eating the extra ones. But it was enough.

And if I had eaten any more, it would have been too much. And for the rest of the day I’d be like, why did you do that? You weren’t hungry. It is not mindless. It is very, very mindful. It is being like, sure, it would be easier to kill the time, Ryan’s still eating, I could just keep shoving food in my mouth. That’s what you do when you’re being mindless, when you’re mindlessly eating.

It requires a level of awareness and the willingness to be where you’re at that most people, they don't want to do it. I don’t want to do it. A lot of the time, I don’t want to do it. I want to just eat to my heart’s content until I’m like, oh, that’s good. That’s too far. That’s past the point that we want to be eating to.

And so what I do is I commit to being really aware and being very mindful and then for the rest of the day, I just tell myself the best story about what I did. I’m like, it feels so good to not want to lay down right now. It feels so good to have energy until bedtime. It feels so good to know that I didn’t stuff myself. It feels so good to know that I followed my plan.

The only time you start running into problems is when you start telling a different story, which is like, this is so restrictive, it’s not fair, I don't want to do this, I just want to eat as much as I want, just like other people. We start - you’ll know once what you’re doing starts shifting, I guarantee you, the story that you’re telling about the exact same thing, two completely different stories.

When it’s easy and it’s effortless and it’s flowing, it’s doing that because you’re telling a really good story about it. You’re making it the lush, juicy thing that you want to do, versus a bunch of bullshit you’re just not in the mood for, you don't have time for, and it’s just unfair. And that was where my mind started going to, where it was like, I just don't want to, this should be fine, this should work.

So that’s a good check in for you if you feel like it’s just not working, especially if you are telling yourself a story of, “It just used to be so easy, it used to work so well.” It’s just because you were excited. You were excited about something new. You were motivated because you were thinking motivating thoughts. You were proud because you were doing things that make you proud. You stopped being the martyr of the story of like, this isn’t fair that I have to think about this so much, other people don’t have to think about it. The story just shifts.

So if there’s something that you were doing, it was easy, what were you telling yourself then? If you’re trying to do it again and it’s super hard, what are you telling yourself now? You will see the discrepancy there. You will see why it’s so hard now.

Ryan: Got it.

Maggie: Sound good?

Ryan: Sounds good.

Maggie: Alright, see you guys next week.

Ryan: See you.

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